The last 10 bargains in America

Is this a hack?

Photo by Erol Ahmed on Unsplash

It is the gift-giving (and receiving) season, a time that I both enjoy but also struggle with to a degree.

I have a hard time shopping for things, and I am probably even worse about asking someone else to buy me a specific thing. I’m much more apt to treasure experiences over objects. I would buy a thousand trips, for example, before buying something like a boat.

Our family lives fairly comfortably, but we will almost certainly never be rich or approach infinity dollars.

So no matter what I am buying, I still have a guiding light that seeks out value. That’s adjacent to the simple matter of how much something costs, but it’s different. It asks: Even if this seems like a lot of money, is it worth it? Or, conversely: This object or experience seems to cost less than I would have imagined. And perhaps also: Is it worth it?

Getting good value is akin to feeling like you were not duped or played — that you avoided the tourist hellhole of life.

It is of course increasingly rare to find good value these days because almost everyone everywhere is trying to squeeze every last drop of juice out of the lemon except for the people who are selling you utterly disposable garbage. Weird things are expensive and price doesn’t seem to have much of a tether to reality.

That was a significant part of the backdrop that framed the 2024 election. Even if the economy feels worse than data suggests it is, feelings matter a lot.

But I am here to tell you that there are still 10 bargains left in America. These are the last 10, so pay attention and act accordingly:

The Costco food court: I’m not breaking any news here for anyone who has ever visited one of their giant warehouses, but it is fairly new to me. We started a Costco membership more than a decade ago when our first child was born. “It will be worth it just for the diapers!” every parent said.

There were, however, problems. First off, the closest location to our house had the world’s worst parking lot. And everyone inside the store always seemed tense, mad or both. It was an utterly unpleasant shopping experience.

To top it off, we had no idea how to shop at Costco. I remember buying a giant bag of pears, maybe eight pounds, thinking that I loved pears and that it was a great deal. We ate about three of them before the rest of the bag rotted. And we NEVER ate at the food court or used the adjacent gas station, like the fools we were. So we canceled the membership after a couple years, even though we had a lot of diapers left to buy.

But we ventured into the Eagan location a couple months ago and found a much more pleasant experience. I found a $20 a year membership deal online and we made the leap. We’ve learned to buy mostly non-perishable snacks, frozen goods and gas.

Now the food court is basically our kids’ favorite restaurant (and it might be in my wife’s top five). Giant pizza slices and huge cups of soft serve for $1.99. A hot dog and pop for $1.50. For the gluten-free crowd (me) a rotisserie chicken Caesar salad for $6.99. And it’s good! It’s an incredible deal, at least if you can avoid buying the eight-pound bag of pears or the $3,000 TV while you are there.

Mailing a letter: The price has gone up considerably in recent years, outpacing even inflation. And there are countless ways to communicate written messages with people these days (emails, texts and social media just to name a few), making mailing a letter feel antiquated and/or obsolete.

But there is still something powerful and special about getting a letter in the mail. And even though the United States Post Office is, um, perhaps not at the top of its game these days, it is fairly mind-blowing when you think about this: For 73 cents, you can have written correspondence hand-carried from your house to someone else’s house thousands of miles away.

Jiffy corn muffin mix: We do not buy corn muffin mix very often, and I cannot in fact eat these muffins (see: free, gluten). But every time I see them in the grocery store, I am amazed at the price. You can get them at Target for 55 cents right now. I don’t know what else you could want.

Riverview Theater: Our old house in Minneapolis was two blocks from this magical, wonderful theater. It was honestly one of the hardest things to leave behind when we moved to suburban Eagan six months ago. Movie tickets? $7 for adults, $5 for kids ($5 all seats for matinees). Popcorn? The best, and reasonably priced just like every other concession stand item, plus it’s $1 off when you just drop in to get popcorn to go (as our kids insist we do every time we are back in the old neighborhood).

We have a much fancier theater that’s about a seven-minute drive from our new house. It has heated seats that recline, ample leg room and a more robust concession stand. It’s about twice as expensive as the Riverview, and it is worth it for some movies. But for value and charm, you cannot top the single-screen giant.

Taco Tuesday at Taco John’s: I believe that in my youth the promotion was 39 cent tacos on Tuesdays at Taco John’s. The price rose steadily to the point that it was 89 cents when I started frequenting the Minneapolis skyway location (RIP, gone but not forgotten). Now they are $1.29. Again, inflation. But I still consider that a bargain, whether you are getting a couple tacos, five (my standard order) or 15 like some sort of trophy-wielding maniac.

National Parks annual pass: $80. Granted, this is more useful if you live closer to a lot of national parks. Minnesota is not exactly in the middle of all the action. Still, it covers everyone in your vehicle for a year at any national park. If you happen to agree that national parks were America’s best idea, $80 is a small price to pay to both visit them and help keep them going.

Eggs: A lot was made this election season about the price of eggs, which was more less a proxy for the high cost of groceries in general. Two things can be true at the same time: Rising food costs were absolutely a factor in the election, even if they were not the only factor and even if the blame is sometimes misplaced.

Last time I went to the grocery store, eggs were $3.49 a dozen. I can remember when they were less than a dollar, but I can also remember thinking that was absurd. Eight cents per egg? Won’t someone think of the chickens? So I’m here to say that even now, with the prices far higher, eggs are still a good value at about 30 cents per egg. Cook one up, slap it between two pieces of toast, and that’s a meal.

Monthly memberships to indoor play spaces: Our family has yearly memberships to a couple of museums, which are great places to visit every couple of months. But my new favorite thing is a monthly membership to an indoor play space. We had one for an indoor playground in November and now we have an active membership at a local trampoline park where the cost of attending once is essentially the same price as the monthly membership.

How is this possible? They want you to forget to use it. And they want you to forget you have it and end up auto-renewing for months and months.

Folks, we do not forget.

I set a phone reminder and an email reminder. If I know we are only keeping it for the one month, I cancel it immediately after signing up because the cancellation doesn’t take effect until the month is over. And we have gone many times already since signing up about 10 days ago. Did I intentionally start the membership to coincide with the entirety of winter break? Of course. Did I pay for the $10 monthly parent add-on so I can always jump, too? You had better believe I did. Are the kids tired of going there? Not even close.

Arizona Iced Tea: My daughter got one of these the other day (the half-tea, half-lemonade, also known as an Arnold Palmer), and it reminded me of how great they are. But I did not know that the price was somehow still 99 cents, which I feel it has been for as long as I can remember (which turns out to be since 1992 when they were first printed on cans and sold in stores).

It sent me down a rabbit hole, and now I have a new favorite CEO: Don Vultaggio of Arizona beverages, who was asked recently why they haven’t changed the price.

“We’re successful. We’re debt-free. We own everything. Why? Why have people who are having a hard time paying their rent have to pay more for our drink?” he said. “Maybe it’s my little way to give back.”

When stores try to sell it for more than the 99 cent price, they face an immediate backlash from devoted consumers.

I have no idea if 99 cents was a fair price for a giant can of iced tea in 1992, but it seemed like it was. And I’m sure that more than 30 years later, it has to be.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Sam Darnold: You might notice that Darnold is considerably more expensive ($10 million for this season, or $9,999,999.27 more than mailing a letter) than the other nine things featured here. But given the importance of the position he plays and the level he is playing at this season — Pro Football Focus grades him as the sixth-best quarterback in the NFL this season, two spots ahead of Patrick Mahomes — he might be the biggest bargain in the league.

The Vikings are 11-2 in large part because Darnold has given them above-average to elite QB play for about one-fourth of the cost of previous QB Kirk Cousins, who Darnold is outplaying this season. Darnold will cease to be a bargain in 2025, when he might command Cousins-like money as a free agent, but the Vikings have a bargain-in-waiting (J.J. McCarthy) ready to take over.

Sounds like GM Kwesi Adofo-Mensah likes good value, too.

Maybe I’ll see him sometime at the Costco food court, which is very near the Vikings’ headquarters.