Only room for the good stuff

My wife bought me a massage as a Father's Day present, and as a last-minute free add-on I decided to try "cupping." I didn't know what I was in for.

I decided to try cupping, which I think looked like this. Photo by Vi Vi on Unsplash

It’s hard to say which I like more: new experiences or good values. My guess and hope is that it’s the former because I will more readily pay a premium for new experiences that are worth it than eschew them in favor of a cheaper alternative.

But when they intersect? I’m all in.

And so it was last weekend, when my wife booked me a massage as a Father’s Day gift. I’ve had plenty of massages, but I hadn’t had one in a while.

My neck was in pain from lifting multiple small children over my head and giving them rides. My shoulder muscles, after carrying the stress of moving, felt like complicated knots used to keep a boat from drifting away. And the muscles around my low back are always compromised from bad posture and laptop slouching.

I knew I was going to enjoy and appreciate this massage. And then a couple days before it happened, my wife casually mentioned that I had the option of adding on — for free — another service as part of a Father’s Day promotion. I could either choose a hot stone treatment or “cupping,” she told me.

Well, well, well.

I had experienced neither of these things and knew next to nothing about them. But now I had the opportunity for a free, new experience. I made a quick decision while my wife was on the phone with the massage therapist, announcing that I would like to try cupping.

Normally after such a decision, I would do at least some research to figure out what I had agreed to. In this case, I simply did not have the time nor inclination.

Cupping? Surprise me!

The appointment arrived last weekend, and of course it ended up being a day with 17 logistical challenges. But I actually made it to the massage 10 minutes early, which his 20 minutes earlier than what my friends semi-lovingly refer to as Rand Standard Time for my annoying habit of being late.

The woman working at the desk checked me in, and with what I determined was a little surprise in her voice she noted that I had opted for the cupping treatment along with the massage.

Was this strange? I had at least heard of cupping even if I didn’t really know what it was or what its intended purpose was.

I was called back for the work to start, and everything proceeded as it normally would during the first 15 or 20 minutes. I was starting to get into a blissful semi-awake state, and my neck was already feeling better.

Then the massage therapist started preparing the cups, and she told me that if there was too much pressure or an uncomfortable pinching sensation, I should speak up.

OK, but here’s the thing. I had no frame of reference for what I was about to experience. And in general, I just sort of trust the experts in those situations.

I was on my stomach when the first two cups when on my shoulders. It felt … interesting? And then a whole bunch more of them went on. They didn’t particularly hurt, but they also didn’t feel particularly great. It felt like something to be endured.

It was then that I decided to start getting educated about cupping.

I asked the massage therapist about the process — as it was happening — and she happily explained that the whole point is to draw out toxins deep within, bringing them nearer to the surface where systems in the body can get rid of them. This was done by creating a vacuum-tight suction on your skin.

(Hot stone massage, my other option as a free add-on, is basically for relaxation and tension release, as I would read later).

The cups were on for a while, then she removed them one by one and asked me to turn over onto my back. She started working on my neck and shoulders again, and I wondered if maybe the cupping was done?

Nope. Soon enough there were more of them on me. And for some reason, all I could imagine was Jason Bateman’s Michael Bluth character from “Arrested Development” saying to me, “I guess you’re not done with the cupping.”

I wasn’t necessarily disappointed. I knew it was probably good for me, and that centuries of wisdom had gone into the practice. Embrace the new experience!

The massage therapist finished the cupping treatment and told me that I should tell my kids that I now knew what it felt like to be grabbed by an octopus. (My kids were not impressed). She also mentioned that I might have some marks on my body that look like bruises, but that they usually go away pretty quickly.

When the massage was done (it really was terrific), I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked like I had gone streaking at Wimbledon and hurled obnoxious insults at the world’s best tennis players, and they had responded in kind by pelting me with 100 mph+ forehands all over my body.

Ball-sized marks persisted for several days, the most stubborn ones on each shoulder, but as of this writing they are barely noticeable.

And as I reflected on it more, I realized that the whole experience had engaged a third love of mine: that of a good metaphor.

Cupping, as the massage therapist had explained, is helpful for getting rid of the remnants of emotional and physical pain — and ideally leaving space for healthier thoughts and cells to take their place.

With various treatments that promote well-being, I sometimes wonder how much is physical science and how much is psychology. Do the cups really help flush out the toxins, or does my mindset improve because I think this is happening?

And often I conclude that it doesn’t really matter how it helps as long as it helps.

I’ve been working for a couple years now on flushing out the negative and leaving more space for the good.

I’ll take it however I can get it, even if it does leave a mark.

• It’s the last post of the month, which means a few odds and ends to tend to. I forgot about that last month in the chaos of moving.

• Speaking of moving, I discovered in the process of boxing up a bunch of books that I have TWO hardcover copies of Dave Grohl’s, “The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music.” I’ve started reading one of them, and it’s very good! But I don’t need two of them. I would love to give one away to a reader who wants it and would read it. I’ll mail it or drive it to you free of charge.

• As part of my recovery from compulsive gambling, I have attended dozens of Gamblers Anonymous meetings. One particular virtual meeting has meant a lot to me, and 50% of any new paid subscriptions in July — a month in which I will celebrate two years gambling-free — will go to support that group.

• My notes folder is a little heavy on logistics like household projects or new recipes and a little light on ideas at the moment, but I was just reminded of one that is percolating when I looked at the app just now. All it says is: “Books from 2050.”

• I also continue to piece together just how I want to publish my very old novel, and I have two new ideas for Q&As that could also be podcasts. As always, I would love to hear from anyone else with feedback and/or ideas.