I made you a playlist

What kind of music do you listen to? Be prepared to answer that question.

Photo by Brian Kostiuk on Unsplash

A few weeks ago, on one of the last days teaching my sports journalism course at the University of Minnesota, I opened up the floor to students for an “ask me anything” session.

We had gotten to know each other well over the course of the semester, but there was still plenty about which they were curious. Their questions were a mix of personal and professional, but one of the seemingly easiest ones somehow stumped me the most.

What kind of music do you listen to?

At many other points in my life, I would have been far more ready to answer with specific genres and/or a handful of artists particularly important to me at the time.

But in that moment, I had a hard time articulating anything other than a garbled non-answer about liking a lot of different things.

I haven’t been able to shake that interaction even though my ninth year of teaching is in the books.

If I couldn’t answer it for my student, I decided that I better do some reflecting and be able to at least answer it for myself.

This is the result of that reflection:

I like a variety of genres, but more urgently I feel the deepest connection to songs that don’t sound like any other song I have heard.

Usually I know within 30 seconds of hearing a song for the first time if it has the capacity to be one of those songs. It might be a tiny hook, a transition, a slight deviation from the expected. Or it could be something completely different that blows my mind.

But it needs to be a new and novel experience. And it needs to feel fresh upon every subsequent listen, even when it has become familiar.

Music like that gives me a physical reaction each time I hear it, a sort of mix between a chill and an electric shock (in a good way, of course).

Somewhat counterintuitively since I work with words for a living, lyrics for me are distant second in terms of importance in most songs. The music itself is the driving force; the words are usually a nice bonus, if they matter at all.

Because these are the qualities I gravitate toward in songs, I think a lot of my tastes fall outside the mainstream (a delightful realization for what remains of my hipster sensibility).

I still like popular songs, and I hear plenty of them thanks to my kids, but when it’s just me in the car or sitting at home the focus narrows considerably.

In any event, it’s harder to describe the music I like than it is to show you examples.

So I made you a playlist.

A lot of us aspire to be tastemakers, giving recommendations of what we like and imagining that others will take our advice and give something a watch, read or listen.

I’m no different in that I want you to hear what I hear and feel what I feel, but I also understand that music is deeply personal. So more than anything, I hope that this 10-song playlist inspires you to consider the songs that already make you feel this way and perhaps seek out new ones as well.

If you wanted to be really nice and get me an early Father’s Day gift, you would perhaps listen to my playlist and tell me in the comments if at least one song moved you (or, failing that, tell me one song that I should listen to because it hits you in the way I’m describing).

These are not my 10 favorite bands, but this is the kind of music I like.

Macie Stewart — Garter Snake

Oftentimes when I’m looking for a novel music experience, I will turn on Radio K — the station of the University of Minnesota. There are plenty of swings and misses, but the ones that hit are memorable. This is one of those songs, which I first heard a couple years ago. The whole song is tremendous, but it’s the chorus that is particularly resonant for me.

Elliott Smith — Condor Ave.

Every year or so, I go through a week or two of an Elliott Smith phase. It’s not when I’m feeling particularly high or low, though it is inarguable that Smith is as much a musician as he is a mood. No, I listen to his music when I need to remember how to feel, and this song is the one I come back to the most. This one also breaks down my “lyrics don’t matter that much” rule. The words in this one matter a lot. “It’s the one thing that he could never do, and it’ll make a whisper out of you.”

Sorry — Baltimore

I’ve written about this band before, and they are probably the greatest example of “music I like intensely even though very few people agree with me.” They have a truly unique sound of sparse atmospheric pop mixed with grunge hooks and sensibility, which shouldn’t work but it does. I’ve definitely listened to this song hundreds of times.

Nirvana — Milk it

Our oldest daughter, who recently turned 11, recently informed us that she likes Nirvana. My wife and I, both huge Nirvana fans in our late teens and still today, are thrilled even though near as we can tell it so far just means that she really likes “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Making someone a playlist (or a mix CD, or a mix tape before that) is a pure expression of kinship, and I desperately want to make my daughter a Nirvana playlist. It will have to lean heavily on Nevermind, their cleanest and most commercially available work, but I’ll sneak a few challenges into it as well. In any event, “Milk It” off of In Utero will not be on it because, quite simply, I don’t think she is ready for that version of Nirvana. It’s beautifully heavy and noisy, with perfect drumming from Dave Grohl. But more than anything, it’s the slight pauses that make everything else more urgent and necessary. This song is the musical equivalent of the perfect use of negative space in a classic painting.

The xx — Crystalised

I have never heard another song like this. I don’t love any of their other songs half as much as this. But this song is just perfect in its spare complexity, and it delivers every time.

The Beatles — Mother Nature’s Son

One of the most famous and talented bands in the world had countless songs that are more well-known and regarded. But this is the one for me, almost exclusively because of the sweet guitar.

Taylor Swift — Lavender Haze

The most popular musician on the planet wants to be seen as complicated, the very opposite of basic. This song is the purest expression of that, and also the most honest. Her life can only be so messy. And ultimately she wants to be in control of it. The push-pull between her desire for control and her desire to let go, to be messy, comes through in a lot of Swift’s work but never more so than here. For a while, I thought this was just the song I played in the car when I was with our kids and we needed a compromise. Then I realized I truly love it. It’s her masterpiece.

Father John Misty — Disappointing Diamonds Are the Rarest of Them All

A genius of our time. My sense is that he traveled 1,000 years into the future and then came back to write gorgeous songs that sound like they’re from the 1970s. This is the best of all of them, though that is saying something.

Faye Webster — But Not Kiss

I’m a sucker for melancholy piano, and this song is it. When I played it for our 8-year-old for the first time, she immediately caught the vibe, too.

Enon — Conjugate the Verbs

Another Radio K favorite, albeit from more than a quarter-century ago when I was actually a college student at the U. This is another one of those bands that I love intensely; you would find their entire collection if you dug through the two giant and now old CD albums mostly gathering dust in the basement.

Thanks again to my curious students for reminding me how important music is and helping me define why it is.

Memorable music to me isn’t about technical brilliance any more than writing is about impeccable grammar. It’s about the soul and the artistic decisions that create something that is truly unique.

What music do you listen to? There are no wrong answers as long as you pay attention to the question.

Update! Reader Abe left this in the comments as well, but he has my gratitude for converting this into an Apple Music playlist as well. You can access it here.